Neko Problems!
by Ketsueki no Kuki
Summary: I was silenced when I felt HUMAN lips touch mine.I looked at the face in front of me, whom the lips belonged to.Madara Uchiha.WTF!And guess what?HE WAS NAKED!"Let's have some fun, shall we?" Before I knew I was naked as well and on Konan's bed.Stupid cat.
1. Chapter 1

Okay. This just cannot be happening. It's IMPOSSIBLE! I'm dreaming, aren't I? Oh Kami, I better be. Things like this just DIDN'T happen. Little pink haired girls that were in criminal organizations with nine hot guys and one girl didn't turn their leaders into -and get this- KITTENS!

It just wasn't possible.

So here I am, standing in a members room. I am standing in 'Tobi's' room. Holding a little black kitty with spiky fur and red eyes. This _kitty_ is Tobi- who just _so happens _to be MADARA UCHIHA! In other words, I just turned the most fearful and powerful man in the whole world- who shouldn't even be _alive_- into a harmless little kitty cat. Okay, maybe not _harmless_, considering all the scratches on my arms. They were light and he tried to avoid hitting my face, so I think he was just as freaked out as me. Though he doesn't show it.

Lemme give you a little flash back to show what happened.

**FLASHBACK to three minutes ago**

"_Tobi? You in here?" I called out as I stood in the masked mans room. I was going to ask if he would like to help me make dinner, but he was no where to be found._

_His room freaked me out. He had a black bedspread with orange pillows and sheets, a black and orange round carpet that looked like his mask, and some weird weapon thingy with a stick and two green plates on each side of the stick. The green plates had red commas in it like the sharingan._

_Creeeeepaye._

_I heard water running so I found the door in his room that led to the bathroom. I opened it without thinking and steam blew into my face. _

_I found that in the shower was a man with long and spiky black hair. I could only see his back and his hair covered his butt. I was shocked and disappointed._

_Shocked, because THERE WAS A MAN IN THE SHOWER!_

_Disappointed, because I couldn't see his ass._

_The water turned off and the man turned around, facing me- it was MADARA UCHIHA._

_A huge blush found its way onto my cheeks and I swear I must have looked like a tomato! _

_I could see his… man part! _

_MY POOR VIRGIN EYES!_

'_**WOW! That thing is **__**huge**__**. He is such a HUNK!'**__ My inner squealed._

_I ignored her and tried to get out of the bathroom, and possibly run for my life once I did. Of course, once Madara was notified of my arrival he used some sort of super speed and had shut the door while I was thinking to myself. My back was against the door and he had a hand on the door on each side of my head. It took all of my effort not to look when he was putting on a towel. I knew better than to look in his eyes, so I moved all my attention to his well built, very nice-looking chest. _

"_Was there something you needed, Sakura?" He asked. He had the exact same tone as Tobi did when he was mad! Ohmigawd! THIS IS TOBI!"Uh-I-Well, um… I-I was h-hopping th-that Tobi would um… w-would help me with di-dinner." I stuttered, still not looking him in the eyes. I saw that he cocked his head at me._

"_Well, guess I can't let you leave then." I COULD FEEL HIM SMIRKING!_

_Panicking, thinking he wanted to kill me, I grabbed the nearest bottle on my right and threw it at him. His eyes widened a fraction before a big cloud of smoke appeared and swallowed him up._

_When the smoke disappeared, I found a kitten._

"_Uh-oh."_

_**End of flashback**_

So that's how I turned the guy that I now know is the real leader behind Akatsuki (the organization I'm in), into a cute little kitty cat. I better go tell Pein.

With the little Madara neko in my arms, I took off, running towards Pein's office. I slammed the door open with the hand that wasn't holding the Madara neko and marched in, facing directly towards Pein's desk.

Pein's sitting there at his desk with his head on said desk, a picture frame in front of him and both his hands in his lap, moaning.

"Uh… Pein? We have a problem." I said, unsure of what he was doing to make himself moan like that. Was he in pain or something?

As soon as he heard my voice his head snapped up. He reached on of his hands up and quickly slammed the picture that's in a really expensive looking golden frame onto the desk, the other hand fidgeting to hurriedly do something in his lap.

"I was _not _just masturbating to picture of you naked that I took when you were sleeping." He said, his tone sounding as though he was lying- but about what? I really wanna know what he was doing.

I saw Madara roll his red kitty cat eyes as he put his top paws on my right shoulder, the one that was helping hold him, and then put his back paws on my breast and jump onto my shoulder. He moved so he was lying down with his butt and tail and back legs on my right shoulder and his head and stuff on my left.

"Um… well, I have a problem." I rubbed the back of my head nervously. It was something I picked up from my old teammate, Naruto.

"What is it?" Pein asked as he wiped his hands on his black ninja pants. WHAT HAD HE BEEN DOING, DAMNIT! I WANNA KNOW!

I plucked Madara off from my shoulders and held him up in front of me by the armpits of his little fuzzy black arms so Pein could see.

"I turned the leader into a cat." I answered emotionlessly, my face blank.

Pein stared at me, then looked to the framed picture he had slammed face down on the desk, then he looked at the cat, then back at me.

"So you've met Madara?" He asked. I nodded.

"How, exactly, did he get turned into a cat?" Pein asked, rubbing his temples with his hand as he closed his eyes. He must be irritated.

"I threw something at him because I thought he was going to kill me and then smoke swallowed him up and POOF! A cute little neko sat in front of me. I just assumed it was Madara." I answered with a shrug, setting Madara back down on my shoulders.

"I see. I am intrusting him into your care until I can figure out a cure. Until then, you must look after him, feed him, do anything necessary and make sure he lives. If any members ask, just tell them I let you get a cat and that Tobi is gone on a solo mission. Now, if you would please leave?" Pein got up and pushed me out the door, but I dug the heels of my feet in as soon as we reached the door.

"What were you doing when I came in?" I asked after I turned around to face him. I saw a blush appear on his cheeks, going across the bridge of his nose.

"N-nothing. Good bye." And with that he pushed me out and slammed the door. I waited a minute with my ear pressed against the door until I started hearing him moaning again. What was he doing? THAT'S ALL I WANNA KNOW!

Sighing, I walked away and went to the kitchen. I figured Madara would be hungry so I pulled out some tuna from the fridge. I opened the can and set it on the floor, taking Madara off my shoulders and setting him next to the tuna. He happily ate it as I waited for him to finish. Once he did I threw the can away and we walked into my room.

"I might have some books that know how to turn you back." I said as Madara jumped onto my bed.

I went over to the four book shelves that held about forty books each and found six books about curses, three about turning into cats, one about magic powders, and four about dogs. I later realized that I didn't need the dog books, and put those back.

Now, in most stories you would read that it took days, years, hours, or something to find the cure. I found it in the first book I read, third page. Yep. Took me two minutes.

I announced to Madara I had found 'it' and he ran up to my side, one of his paws resting on my left arm as he tried to look at the book I was holding.

"It says here, '_If you have somehow mistakenly used a strange potion or powder of some sort that turns a human into a cat, then there is only one cure.' _Wow. That fit's our problem perfectly," I said before continuing, "_'The cure is for a girl with an unusual- but natural- hair color to have sex with the cursed cat. It must be a female even if the cursed one is female.'" My eyes widened and I jumped off my bed, running towards Pein's office once more, all the while shouting "PEIN! PEIN! I FOUND SOMETHING!" _

_I reached Pein's office, but his door was locked. I continued shouted but he ignored me, so I ran to Konan's room, but not until I picked Madara -who had followed me- up. _

_Konan's door was open so I walked right in and found her sitting on her bed, staring at the wall._

"_KONAN! I need you to have sex with this kitty." I said as I held Madara out for her to see. She stared at me, wide eyed._

"_Um… Sakura, why the hell would I do that?" She asked._

"_It's Madara. I turned him into a cat on accident and the only way to turn him back is to have a female with naturally unusual hair color to have sex with him. I think if you kiss him then he'll turn human so you can… do IT. So I'll leave you two alone…"_

"_I CAN'T! Sakura, my hair is dyed. Looks like you have to do it! BYE!" Konan screamed as she ran out the door and then outside of the base._

_Great._

_I have to sleep with someone I don't know. _

_I have to sleep with a cat. _

_I have to sleep with a man who is apparently immortal. _

_I have to sleep with an old man. _

_I get to sleep with A HOT GUY!_

_My inner was jumping around with excitement in my head, but I was happy yet horrified._

_I saw Madara smirk in front of me. Who knew cats could smirk! He pounced on me, his back paws resting on the tops of my breasts as his front were on each side of my shoulders._

"_Um… what are you…" I was silenced when I felt HUMAN lips touch mine. I looked at the face in front of me, whom the lips belonged to. Madara Uchiha. WTF?_

_And guess what?_

_HE WAS NAKED!_

"_Let's have some fun, shall we?" And before I knew I was naked as well and on Konan's bed. Stupid cat._


	2. Chapter 2

Ah! I just downloaded Open office, and I had been using some shitty Microsoft word, so it's good to have this! I'm only here to say this:

TO ALL YOU MADASAKU FANS:

I am having a bit of a writers block for some of my stories, and will be writing some MadaSaku one-shots (I already have four out- Missing Red Bra, a sequel- Missing Red Bra let's have some fun! (lemon), Neko problems, and The evil leader and the four year old.) and here's the big thing

YOU HAVE AN IDEA of a MadaSaku oneshot, tell me and I can use it!

So if you have an idea, but you don't want to type it, either review or Pm me and I'll type it and let you know when it's out!

You can help me by letting me write for you!


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